*Cue Holy Light*

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Re: *Cue Holy Light*

Post by Draco on Thu May 24, 2012 10:54 pm

Since we are all in such a reminiscent mood...

I present to you, the One Sentence Story. The most epic one, ever.


There once was a pot of petunias, which was nothing special at all. It's name was Hixlegirpledink the Third.

For a mere pot of petunias, it did have quite a sense of pride and self worth

It had just been bought by a rather average person.

A rather average person who did rather strange things, like buckled his newly bought plant into the passenger seat of his car.

Once they got to the house, the new owner did other odd things. Like take him into an underground lab.

The underground lab was expansive.

Inside the lab were an assortment of colorful concoctions in flasks and giant death rays in the corners.

Hixlegirpledink the Third didn't take kindly to the sight.

And took less kindly to being placed on top of a large target.

The no longer average seeming man pointed a bright lamp at him, a thoughtful expression filling his face.

After a few hours, it began to rain, and the plant felt it's asexual self begin to grow.

It grew and grew, spreading throughout the lab

It outgrew it's pot, it outgrew every pot it's owner had.

Soon it began growing through the wall, breaking into the soil on the other side

The scientist didn't want to stop it, but began to worry about his other experiments.

There they were, all in a row, whispering quietly to each other

When suddenly the scientist started a fire.

He thought that he could burn away his mutant, but his plan wasn't very well thought out

For the mutant petunia merely fed on the fire, and began to grow more.

It grew and grew until the roof caved in

But still it grew. It went through a period of darkness, but pushed on.

It stretched its branches until it reached light. But it wasn't at the surface.

It was in another lab. This scientist was amazed by the plant.

So amazed he decided to adopt it

Instead of giving it X-TREME growth light, he just shot it with a laser.

The plant wriggled back in for, pulsating with energy

It began to mutate as it grew, it's flowers becoming mouths.

It's leaves grew into giant wings

It soon began to seperate into multiple organisms.

Each having its own mind and personality

So the scientist began to name them after the seven dwarves.

Except Grumpy kept getting on the scientist's nerves, so he cut him up into salad

The others didn't take kindly to this, and ate the scientist. And the salad.

The combo tasted quite good together, so they went in search of another scientist.

There seemed to be a constant stream of labs going all the way to the surface.

By the time they had filled themselves, Sleepy decided that he needed a nap.

The rest followed. As they napped, the began to replicate. Soon there were 48 petunia monsters.

Waking up, they realized that it was very crowded having 48 monsters around.

So they finally breached the surface and began to spread out, becoming a new species of scientist eating petunia monsters.

Sadly, no one was ever able to describe it, for all the scientists who tried to study them were eaten.

And thus it remained without a proper name for years.

Until one man came along, Dr. Doo Little

They did not consider him a proper scientist, and therefore did not eat him.

He captured several specimens of the petunia monsters and held them in a makeshift cage.

Where he attempted to give them each names, but found there weren't enough emotions.

So instead he named them his favorite Foods.

Cheesecake decided he didn't like his cage, and plotted with Ramen on how to get out.

Not caring to tell the others, they waited until Dr. Doo Little came to feed them.

Unfortunately Alfredo Pizza overheard the plan and informed the doctor.

The doctor, pissed at Ramen's and Cheesecake's crazy idea, sent them to the (dwarf) planet Pluto.

Where they began to colonize the planet.

Soon enough they had a small town, which they called Goldfish.

The town of Goldfish began to plan an attack on Earth.

They had town meeting and decided on their heros.

Their heros were named Ramen, Pumpkin Pie, and King Leonidas.

Wanting to look fit for the job, they each got customarily designed suits.

These suits made sure to keep their maneuverability, which was vital.

So they launched their attack, and the Petunia Armies met mid planet.

The humans, who had no idea this was coming, ran around in panic. A very entertaining show for the Petunia monsters.

the scientists had developed Petunia-proof shields for themselves.

But that was only the scientists, so that left over half the population undefended.

The Petunias had the world in their grasp precisely two hours after getting all the Earth petunias to help.

After eating every scientist, the settled down in the Atlantic Ocean for a rest.

And then there came a conundrum. Some of the Petunias became scientists.

And with that some of the Petunias became cannibals

But not the Original Six, for they stayed true to the old way.

Together, the Original Six burrowed deep under the surface

And asked the Original One for help.

The Original One handed them a leather packet with the words 'Plant Food' engraved.

So they returned to the surface world, to call attention to the rest of the Petunias.

They were to start a project to duplicate the contents of the bag so that there would be enough for everyone.

This was nearly impossible, as the Petunias were now the most numerous species on the planet.

But nevertheless, the enormous project began to take its first steps, in order to save the species from destroying itself.

There was, of course, no other reasonable way for their species to be destroyed.

There were only ten humans left on the planet.

They lived in the same corner of the Earth that was left safe for them.

They were key in the food cloning.

The food was soylent green.

Though they didn't want to help the petunia monsters, they didn't have a big choice in it.

And then the space whales came.

Seemingly appearing out of nowhere, they fell from the atmosphere.

And soon were set to be the only real threat to the Petunias.

They did it almost naturally, with little effort

Being space whales, they didn't do much except eat space krill.

Which wasn't strange at as, as there were the distant relatives to the Earth whales. But that isn't the point.

The reason they were a danger to the Petunias, is tht they were so large, and there were so many, they could block out much of the sun.

The Petunia Monsters were still plants in the fact that they needed the sun.

So they developed a plan, that required the help of the scientist Petunias.

There plan was quite simple actually: Get rid of the space whales. They had trouble figuring out what to do next until one of them had an idea.
The scientists came up with some shrink rays.

They blasted the space whales, but it turns out the shrink rays didn't shrink the whales enough.

So instead they resorted to leaving the planet, to return to Pluto.

Pluto had undeniably improved while they were gone.

For starters, the residents had made their own sun.

It had given the planet an inviting feel that had attracted many other species.

Including a species long thought to be extinct; the dodo.

The Petunia's, intrigued by the dodo's appearance, started keeping them as pets.


Then one Petunia wondered how they had gotten here.

So he asked his dodo bird, Steve.

Steve replied: You don't know? We are the second smartest creatures on Earth. Jut behind Petunia and just above space whales.

The Petunia, brought into thought by his words, asked back, "Then tell why you bother being treated as a mere pet, where you are at the same level of a space slug.”

"Leeching off of you guys without having to do any work, pretty cushy position."

The Petunia stared at the freeloader. He'd been taken advantage of.

But, the dodo being as cool as he was, he let him stay.

Though he still spread the facts around.

Soon there was an all-out war between the petunias and the dodos. But the Petunias made a crucial mistake in making enemies with the space whales, and to a lesser extent the humans.

So now they had a three vs one battle, and even though the humans couldn't participate much, the other two enemies were quite the opponents.

The Petunias eventually managed to evict the other species.

The Dodos, Humans, and Space Whales made it back to Earth, only to find it completely frozen over.

It was the second Ice Age, but that didn't mean the Earth was deserted.

For the yetis, some of the dumbest creatures on the planet, had come out of the mountains.

Lacking in mental ability, they didn't serve much of a threat to the Humans, Dodos, and Space Whales.

So ignoring the Yetis, they began constructing an armada to combat the Petunias and take the paradise planet, Pluto.

They began constructing advanced spaceships, and trained the humans, who were more capable for the job, how to use them.

They also began to constuct armor for the Space Whales, to allow them to block the sun more.

While all this occurred, the Dodos were left to do the planning.

Being the military geniuses they were, they quickly came up with the battle plan.

Within less then one Pluto year, they were ready.

Of course, since a Pluto year was 247.7 Earth years, this was a dreadfully long time.

But they had patience, or at least most of them did.

They didn't much care for the ones who had no patience. And so they launched their attack on Pluto, the great Space Whales leading the armada.

Switching to the other side of the story, the Petunias weren't having the best of times on Pluto anymore.

A paradise though it was, they found it much to small. Even when they moved nearly half the population to it's moon, they quickly ran out of room.

There became a scarcity on necessities.

Even the miniature sun had started failing.

So, in the great depressed state that they were in, they were in no way ready for the attack.

By the time the attack force reached them, they had spent the time building an enormous, planet sized white flag.

Upon seeing the white flag, the Humans, Space Whales, and Dodos were struck in confusion.

The confusion was cleared when it was sent hurtling at them by enormous rockets.
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Re: *Cue Holy Light*

Post by Areada on Thu May 24, 2012 10:54 pm

Yeah, that's pretty freakin' awesome.
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Re: *Cue Holy Light*

Post by Picasso on Fri May 25, 2012 11:22 am

Would it be possible to scour the old TS forums for the smilies and use them here?

I have the Cake Lady Song and the Baby Salabounder Boogie in my library.

Edit: And just like old times Nayaby and I have the same avatar.
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Re: *Cue Holy Light*

Post by Areada on Fri May 25, 2012 5:04 pm

I think we have all three songs, as I recall-there were three? Yes Three. They're on someone's itunes somewhere, I think...

I don't know about using their smilies. I mean, we could look, but I'm not sure I'm necessarily allowed to try to use those. The avvies are just archived images but the smilies would involve like, saving them to somewhere and sort of uploading them into the code for this site, I have neither the computer knowledge nor the legal knowledge to pull that off.
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Re: *Cue Holy Light*

Post by Aequus on Fri May 25, 2012 10:14 pm

Well, when we're done debating the moral/technological issues, the smiles are here.

And music (Chemical Symbol Mu):
http://web.archive.org/web/20090303191222/http://www.twinskies.com/media/music
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Re: *Cue Holy Light*

Post by MozytheHealer on Sat May 26, 2012 12:35 am

It makes me so saddd!!!! and happy. :'{D I used to use the grinning ninja smiley all the time....
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Re: *Cue Holy Light*

Post by redpoemage on Sun May 27, 2012 2:12 pm

My old avatar Very Happy

YAY

Oh and hi Draco.
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Re: *Cue Holy Light*

Post by Nayaby on Sun May 27, 2012 2:17 pm

Yay Red!

That avatar works well because the first boss of Zelda: Oracle of Ages is a poe possessing a jack-o-lantern!
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Re: *Cue Holy Light*

Post by Nayaby on Wed May 30, 2012 10:55 pm

JOIN THE FRAY INKLAI!

Y u no post?

You've been with us since we moved here from MG, but you've only ever lurked! Not even one post! That's worse that Aequus!

POOOOOOOST!

We misseth you!

(Goodnight)
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Re: *Cue Holy Light*

Post by Inklai on Thu May 31, 2012 11:52 am

Eek I've been noticed! -hides in closet-

Oi, I've been preoccupied! Nothing wrong with simply lurking! Trust me, I've missed you guys more than an afro misses the 60's, but I can't help that my mind is barren of ideas.

Buuuut I may post in an actual roleplay soon. Maybe


Oh and Aequus, that link, that wondrous beautiful link!
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Re: *Cue Holy Light*

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